Thicker air

My heart and my lungs feel the same feeling. Suffocation. It's so stuffy and all my stress and worry makes the air thick and hard to breathe. I'm so tired of this. I'm so sick of it. Constant migraines, crying my self to sleep, feeling lesser, what have I done to deserve this. I'm at a stand still in my life. I need to do something. I need a plan. I'm tired of being pathetic. I'm tired of being a loser, and I'm tired of isolation. I haven't many friends. I go nowhere. I sit at home and wait for him to text. I'm tired of everyone constantly in my ear telling me to get a life. The more they do this the more afraid I get. And I go nowhere. I'm tired of my depression and anxiety being pushed off to the side and I'm tired of being forgotten. I'm tired of having to suck it up and take it like a man. I'm WEAK...... and I just want to be left alone.