Racist Bastards!!

If one were to play Skyrim for even an hour you would realize the incredible amounts of racism on the  game towards almost every race except the Nords. I noticed this in the first few seconds into the game but dismissed it a small thing that I shouldn't worry about. Maybe I was a bit preoccupied by the gigantic dragon attacking and escaping my sure death. It wasn't until I visited Windhelm that and heard the plights of the Dark elves that it caught my attention. Whether I agree with the concept being interwoven into the game is still up for debate. At first I was appalled at the extent that it goes to. Racism is obviously wrong, that is a given. I'm beginning to think that it makes some sense to put it in the game and I believe it adds complexity. On a game that's rated M and for mature audiences it should be safe enough, but it seems the eternal downfall of rating video games is parent who will buy their kids games that are too mature for them. How many times have you been playing on Xbox Live and heard the voice of a five year old telling you to 'get the fuck down!' or that you are going to die? Lets face that our rating system has many holes in it. Are these kids seeing this immense racism and thinking it is alright to judge people by their race? Then again if these parents were doing their jobs I wouldn't be debating this.  Enough said. What do you all think of this predicament? please comment and keep it professional.

My apologies

I do formally apologize for not posting for a while. I lost my wifi, and my school blocks this site. My life has been quite disney since i last posted though. I really have very little to report. My holiday was nice and simple, the way I needed it. It was nice to see my family. That is all I have to say on the topic.

All dressed up and nowhere to go

All dressed up and nowhere to go

Today I decided that in honor of fancy Friday I would dress up. I had heard there may or may not be bad weather coming but I didn't think anything of it. I was even happy when they gave us a 2 hour delay because it gave me more time to ready myself for the day. 

I indulged in the abnormal female tradition of applying makeup, which is not the norm for me at all. And I put on a short dress with leggings. I walked down the stairs to join my family and even they complemented me. I sat and listen to the radio. After about fifteen minutes I began to look for other things to add to my outfit. I heard my mother yell up the stairs " Guys! We're cancelled!". My siblings rejoiced. Fuck my life. 

Scrooge

Scrooge 

Me and the holidays have a mutual love and hate relationship. I hate the cleaning and extensive stress. I hate the waking up at5:30am to cook until six at night and getting yelled at for every tiny thing. I hate the piles of dishes afterwards and I hate the stress of Christmas shopping with my mother.
But I love the feeling when everyone is here and the food has been eaten. I love the day after when my family becomes a family again. I love trying to guess what people want. I love the challenge. I love my family. I love the love I guess. 

Heaven

Heaven

They're like a soft bed, or a kind warm breeze in the dead of winter. His lips. We kiss and I lay my head on his chest. Tribal drums are playing in his chest. I'm comfortable and secure. I would stay there forever if I could. I could sleep there. His voice is soft but hardly audible as he whispers " I love you". I love you too. 

Hell

Hell 

When I try to imagine hell I just remember the 6th grade. I know, it's quite pathetic. I'm a senior and I'm still dwelling on the 6th grade? It suck with me like a thorn. I was so desperate to fit in. I memorized every  style magazine, every swear word any thing I thought could be "cool" I studied like a book. But I got to school and people just demolished me. My spirit. This was an on going event and I should've seen it coming, but I thought that just once the good in people would come out and accept me and they just attacked the weaker one. Me. It took me years to accept their image of me. Years of relentless torture and mental strife. Some how I'm still alive. 

Held against my will

Ornary fe-lions

I have four cats, because I'm mostly a loner they seem to think they dominate my life. It sometimes seems these curious felines are more human than I am at times and it's quite halarious. I admit to being one of those cat people who answer their "meow" with "I know I know" and I'll even admit to having conversations with my fantastic little felines. The thing about them is they don't like to be held or kissed when it's convenient for me, but god forbid I'm fighting a dragon on skyrim and tiggy wants some attention! They've learned how to do things to sabatoge my contact to the outside world. I think they're trying to keep me at home for they're amusement or something. They know how to shut off the Xbox and knock the iPod or phone out of my hands. I've even caught them dragging the phone with their teeth to unknown destinations. Some one help I think they've got me prisoner in my own home!

Making out

Making out 

I went to see him yesterday. He picked me up in the jeep because the four wheel drive was much needed. I got into the car and we were off. We talked until we got into the privacy of his basement. Then one kiss turned into two and then three and then four and then I lost count. My head was spinning and my world upside down. I've never kissed anyone like that and I never realized how passionate he is. 

To put it plainly we made out. Honestly I feel that for me it was a different feeling and to say we "made out" would not serve the action justice. What can say? I'm  in love. 

Skyrim Woes

Skyrim Woes

I ,like many other geeks, am still hooked on the ver popular game series elder scrolls by Bethesda game studios. Specifically I've been attached to the 5th edition ,Skyrim. I haven't beat the main story line, I'm in the dwarven ruins where you get the elder scroll. I don't know if I'm doing it wrong or if my game is glitching but my clairvoyance leads me to a lever out of black water cavern and then I'm in a cage. I don't understand how to get out or what I'm supposed to do. So I just went back to the ruins and fought some falmers. It's a hard fight and I die a lot. But I could care less. It's fun. 

The first kiss. 

It was wet, as I remember and quick. I wished it would've lasted much longer. We ,both in the same class in the same vocational school, hardly got a moment to ourselves and I love him. So after earlier in the day pouring out my heart to him. We hugged and in the mix of awkward teenage hormones and emotions we shared a benevolent kiss. His lips were so soft and appealing to mine. He was quite warm, and the kiss was 100% consensual. It was one of the best moments of my life. I will remember it forever.

In all my awkward splendor the kiss was not quite normal for me. It made my body physically tremble. I've never been in love before ,in all my seventeen years, I'm incredibly afraid of not doing this right and messing it up. It's atypical of me to be the one who's happy. I actually am normally the one who's incredibly depressed. This is an odd feeling, love, its unanylized and gargantuan. But I like it.