I Do Not Wear a Mask

My father always said "your too pretty for make up, you don't need it." I never understood why he said that. I'm not pretty, my face is actually rather funny looking. But it's stand able. My face isn't disturbing (to most), but when I was younger I always wanted to wear it. I was fascinated by the idea of fitting in. Obsessed. I was actually kind of daring. I was always hated, I'm still not sure why, but instead of slinking off to a corner with the other geeks. I and I alone sat with the cool kids. It was actually a funny sight. Me the biggest 'butt of the joke' sitting with the most popular kids in school. Of course the gossiped about me behind my back (the nicest did), others told me that I did not belong there, one girl actually threatened to jump me after school. But I never budged. I never got up. They could never make me. I wore the make up I stole from my mother. My friend applied it before class and we gently removed it at the end of the day. I felt like now that I wore the magic mask of makeup I could blend in with the popular girls. I thought that boys may begin to show and interest and I would be something greater than myself. I would be cool. After a week I lost interest. I looked at myself in the mirror and was appalled, disgusted even. This person staring back at me, it was not me but a lousy knock off of every other girl I've met. I felt like a cheap sellout. And even more of a loser than before. I took of this mask with soap and water. And I try my best to never have to put it back on. I never want to. I dont like my face, but at least I can recognize the person it is. I don't wear a mask. This is why.